Midlife Overwhelm: When Everybody Seems to Need a Piece of You!

Do you ever have those days where it feels like everybody wants a little piece of you?

I think it's one of the strange things about this stage of life that we don't really talk about enough.

You get to your 50s and beyond and perhaps imagine life might start getting a little less hectic.

The kids are grown up (or mostly grown up), so surely they don't need you quite so much anymore?

Hahahaha. 😂 (Turns out nobody told them that).

And then, just as our children are becoming more independent, we can find ourselves at the other end with parents who are getting older and perhaps starting to need a little more help too.

Add in work, running a home, partners, grandchildren for some of us, appointments, shopping, life admin and all the other random things that somehow need sorting...

It's a lot, isn't it?

The midlife juggling act

I think many of us become so used to juggling everything that we don't even notice we're doing it.

Someone messages, we reply.

Someone needs a lift, we're grabbing the car keys.

Mum or Dad needs something sorting, we'll do it.

There's a problem, before they've even finished explaining it, we're already mentally working out how we're going to fix it.

And I'm certainly not suggesting we stop helping the people we love.

But somewhere along the way, it's very easy for one person to disappear from the list.

Us.

We become so busy responding to everybody else's needs that we don't always stop and ask ourselves a really simple question:

What do I need today?

You don't have to jump every time

This is something I think many of us need reminding of occasionally:

Not everything needs doing immediately.

You don't have to answer the message the second it arrives.

You can finish your coffee before sorting somebody else's problem.

You can say, "I'll have a look at that later."

You can even say no occasionally.

The world probably won't end.

And that doesn't make you selfish or uncaring.

Sometimes it simply means recognising that your own energy isn't an unlimited resource.

When did self-care become another job?

The funny thing is, we're constantly being told that the answer to stress and overwhelm is self-care.

Which sounds lovely.

Until that becomes another enormous list of things we're apparently supposed to be doing.

Must drink more water.

Must meditate.

Must get 10,000 steps.

Must exercise.

Must eat more protein.

Must get eight hours' sleep.

Must do yoga.

Must start journalling.

Honestly, it's enough to make you need a lie down. 😂

Looking after yourself shouldn't become another thing you're failing at.

It doesn't need to involve a new morning routine, a meditation app, a gratitude journal and a complete lifestyle overhaul.

Sometimes it can be really small.

Give yourself ten minutes

Maybe it's having a coffee on your own while it's still hot.

Going outside for a little walk.

Doing a few stretches because your body feels stiff.

Sitting in the garden.

Taking a few slow, deep breaths.

Putting your phone somewhere you can't see it.

Or frankly, locking yourself in the bathroom for ten minutes if that's the only place nobody can find you. 😂

It doesn't really matter what it is.

The important bit is giving yourself permission to stop for a moment without feeling guilty about it.

Because when life feels overwhelming, our instinct can be to go faster.

Get more organised.

Try harder.

Tick a few more things off the list.

Sometimes what we actually need is the opposite.

You don't have to do everything at once

If you're feeling pulled in seventeen different directions at the moment, perhaps this is your little reminder.

You don't have to sort everything today.

Not everybody needs an instant answer.

You don't have to be available to everyone all of the time.

And looking after yourself doesn't need to become another huge project.

Sometimes you're allowed to stop.

Have a cuppa.

Take a breath.

Move your body for ten minutes if that feels good.

And remember that you deserve a place on your own list too.

Everything else can wait for a little while.

Alison xx

A little note about exercise...

If exercise is one of those things permanently sitting at the bottom of your list accompanied by the words "I really should...", please don't assume it has to mean finding another hour in an already packed day.

I'm a huge believer in short, doable chunks of movement that fit around real life, rather than expecting real life to fit around exercise.

Because the last thing any of us needs is another reason to feel we're not doing enough.

A little bit, done regularly, is always better than the perfect routine you never have time to do.

And that, really, is the whole thinking behind Flexpress. Maybe this could be your thing, the little bit of time for yourself 🤗